tootie the most horrible

There should be no guilt in pleasure...

2009-10-19T11:13:00.000-07:00

I generally enjoy John Mayer as a person but not so much as a musician. It probably has something to do with the rere faces. However, this is quite nice.

License to Drive

2009-02-11T20:07:00.001-08:00

The other day I renewed my driver's license. My picture looked like this...

But worse. Next time, I'm aiming for this...

Oh My. Gee Whiz. Tutti-Frutti.

2009-02-06T09:19:00.000-08:00

New Texting Acronyms for the Elderly

The Name of the Hurricane is Hurricane Ditka

2009-02-02T22:27:00.000-08:00

Okay, remember the Super Bowl Shuffle? It. Was. Rad. Period. I'm just gonna throw this out there but IMO they should've never stopped making videos like this. Here, I'll prove it. I have evidentiary support (yes, thank you Legally Blonde).

Exhibit One: The Super Bowl Shuffle.

Clearly this video is awesome. Catchy song? Yes. Could I dance to it? Absolutely.

Blazing sax solos? Check. Top drawer rap skills? Affirmative

Exhibit Two: Raiders-Silver and Black Attack

The Raiders use a We Are the World approach for Silver and Black Attack. It totally works. Howie Long, the guy from those Radio Shack commercials with Teri Hatcher, is in this one, but that's not the best part.

The best part is when a hairy Slash-like character with a sleeveless football uniform and concho belt leaps out from behind the team and delivers a face melting guitar solo.

No, seriously, it is face melting. Weeeeeeee beeeeddle-oo beeedle-oo weeeeeeeeee.

Okay if you still don't agree with me by now. Just wait. Prepare to be stunned.

Exhibit Three: L.A. Rams- Ram It

This one really shouldn't even require an explanation. You should be thoroughly convinced.

"I'm a mountainman from West Va., they call me Herc and I came to play, I learned long ago if you Ram It just right, you can Ram It all day and Ram It all night."

Does YouTube have a repeat function? I just want to listen to this over and over again and think about my

life.

Laterz.

Swede!

2009-02-02T11:12:00.000-08:00

Veronica Maggio-Mandagsbarn

So, I have no idea what this song is about, but I know one thing, it's Swedish. I like most things Swedish

like cars and furniture and meatballs. Plus, in the video there is school full of tiny Swedish hipsters. Is it

just me or does Veronica Maggio totally look like Ess from Gossip Girl. Yes.

This...

2009-02-02T10:51:00.001-08:00

equals

this...

I'm not even joking. WTF?

Royale with Cheese

2009-01-29T22:54:00.000-08:00

I think these fast food inspired trinkets are pretty great. The best thing about them is that they are totally customizable. You can create the burger necklace or ring that will suit your tastes completely. AnywayyahIknowthatwaslame, but seriously you can get them here. I like the gold ones, they're gangsta.

Where Have You Been All My Life?

2009-01-28T22:45:00.000-08:00

I recently downloaded Fleetwood Mac's album Rumours. I'm not really sure what it was that prompted me to do so, but boy am I sure glad I did. It is crazy good! I always knew of Fleetwood Mac, but mostly just the songs they play on classic rock radio stations. For some reason I knew I was supposed to appreciate this band because they are supposed to be great, but for some reason I didn't. At my high school, we would have "Spirit Week" and inevitably there would be a day when students would dress up in 70s themed outfits. My friend would wear her mom's Fleetwood Mac concert tee every year, and every year her mom would tell us all about her Fleetwood Mac concert experience. It seemed like it was definitely the highlight of her youth. Despite her testimony to the awesomeness of Fleetwood Mac I still doubted. Anyway, I guess I have finally seen the error of my ways. This led me to go back and check out a few albums that I thought I might have overlooked. It all seems so obvious to me now...

Badass.

Insanely badass.

There are no words...badass.

Honorable Mention:

Unlikely Angel badass.

It'll Take Me At Least a Week to Dig Up All My Dolls in the Cemetery

2009-01-26T21:30:00.000-08:00

You probably thought I was talking about this Tootie, The Facts of Life Tootie. I am not. She's pretty rad but not quite as rad as Tootie Smith. If I had to make a list of my favorite fictional characters of all-time I think Tootie Smith would be number one. In case you didn't already know, Tootie, played by Margaret O'Brien, is Judy Garland's sassy baby sister in the classic Vincente Minelli film Meet Me in St. Louis.

She is responsible for some of the best and perhaps most quotable lines in the film. She is pretty much a badass, and I pretty much wish I was more like her. Why do you ask?

1.) She rides around town with Mr. Neely the Iceman. This doesn't seem that cool but check it Mr. Neely is none other than Chill Wills. Also, she once saw a drunkard who got stabbed while she was riding around town with Mr. Neely the Iceman.

2.) Her dolls have fatal diseases thus she has many dolls buried in the cemetery.

*about her doll

Tootie Smith: Poor Margaretha, I've never seen her look so pale.

Mr. Neely the Iceman: The sun oughta do her some good.

Tootie Smith: I suspect she won't live through the night, she has four fatal diseases.

Mr. Neely the Iceman: And it only takes one.

Tootie Smith: But she's going to have a beautiful funeral, in a cigar box my Papa gave me, all wrapped up in silver paper.

Mr. Neely the Iceman: That's the way to go, if you have to go.

Tootie Smith: Oh, she has to go.

3.) She's all about vigilante justice. She almost kills, or thinks she almost kills, Mr. Braukoff and is then declared "the most horrible". I have a suspicion that The Brave One was loosely based on Tootie.

Tootie Smith: We'll fix him fine. It'll serve him right for poisoning cats...He buys meat and then he buys poison and then he puts them all together.

Agnes Smith: And then he burns the cats at midnight in his furnace. You could smell the smoke...

Tootie Smith: ...and Mr. Braukoff was beating his wife with a red hot poker...and Mr. Braukoff has empty whiskey bottles in his cellar.

4.) She enjoys dressing up as a ghost. Not only a ghost but a horrible ghost.

Agnes Smith: Tootie's a horrible ghost, and I'm a terrible drunken ghost.

Tootie Smith: She was murdered in a den of thieves, and I died of a broken heart. I've never been

buried because everyone's afraid to come near me.

5.) Tootie is fearless.

Tootie Smith: Papa we buried Margaretha today, and you missed all the fun.

Mr. Alonzo Smith: Oh, I wouldn't say that. I've had a pretty full day.Tootie, remind me to spank you right after dinner.

Tootie Smith: Yes, Papa.

Mr. Alonzo Smith: Lord, I thank thee for the bountiful blessing we are about to receive.Amen.

Tootie Smith: Agnes, if I forget to remind Papa, you remind me.

Agnes Smith: All right.

If you still doubt the awesomeness of Tootie. I suggest you check out the movie for yourself. It's not really

Tootie related but I'll leave you with this...

Agnes Smith: Katie, where's my cat?

Katie the Maid: I don't know...a little while ago, she got in my way and I kicked her down the cellar steps. I could hear her spine hitting on

every step.

Agnes Smith: Oh, if you killed her, I'll kill you! I'll stab you to death in your sleep, then I'll tie your body to two wild horses until you're

pulled apart.

Katie the Maid: Oh, won't that be terrible, now? There's your cat.