It'll Take Me At Least a Week to Dig Up All My Dolls in the Cemetery

You probably thought I was talking about this Tootie, The Facts of Life Tootie.  I am not.  She's pretty rad but not quite as rad as Tootie Smith.  If I had to make a list of my favorite fictional characters of all-time I think Tootie Smith would be number one.  In case you didn't already know, Tootie, played by Margaret O'Brien, is Judy Garland's sassy baby sister in the classic Vincente Minelli film Meet Me in St. Louis. 

She is responsible for some of the best and perhaps most quotable lines in the film.  She is pretty much a badass, and I pretty much wish I was more like her.  Why do you ask?

1.) She rides around town with Mr. Neely the Iceman.  This doesn't seem that cool but check it Mr. Neely is none other than Chill Wills.  Also, she once saw a drunkard who got stabbed while she was riding around town with Mr. Neely the Iceman.

2.) Her dolls have fatal diseases thus she has many dolls buried in the cemetery.

*about her doll

Tootie Smith:  Poor Margaretha, I've never seen her look so pale.

Mr. Neely the Iceman:  The sun oughta do her some good.

Tootie Smith:  I suspect she won't live through the night, she has four fatal diseases.

Mr. Neely the Iceman:  And it only takes one.

Tootie Smith:  But she's going to have a beautiful funeral, in a cigar box my Papa gave me, all wrapped up in silver paper.

Mr. Neely the Iceman:  That's the way to go, if you have to go.

Tootie Smith:  Oh, she has to go.

3.) She's all about vigilante justice.  She almost kills, or thinks she almost kills, Mr. Braukoff and is then declared "the most horrible".   I have a suspicion that The Brave One was loosely based on Tootie.

Tootie Smith: We'll fix him fine. It'll serve him right for poisoning cats...He buys meat and then he buys poison and then he puts them all together.

Agnes Smith: And then he burns the cats at midnight in his furnace.  You could smell the smoke...

Tootie Smith:  ...and Mr. Braukoff was beating his wife with a red hot poker...and Mr. Braukoff has empty whiskey bottles in his cellar.

4.) She enjoys dressing up as a ghost.  Not only a ghost but a horrible ghost.  

Agnes Smith: Tootie's a horrible ghost, and I'm a terrible drunken ghost.

Tootie Smith: She was murdered in a den of thieves, and I died of a broken heart.  I've never been

 buried because everyone's afraid to come near me.

5.)  Tootie is fearless.

Tootie Smith: Papa we buried Margaretha today, and you missed all the fun.

Mr. Alonzo Smith: Oh, I wouldn't say that. I've had a pretty full day.Tootie, remind me to spank you right after dinner.

Tootie Smith: Yes, Papa.

Mr. Alonzo Smith: Lord, I thank thee for the bountiful blessing we are about to receive.Amen.

Tootie Smith: Agnes, if I forget to remind Papa, you remind me.

Agnes Smith: All right.

If you still doubt the awesomeness of Tootie. I suggest you check out the movie for yourself. It's not really

Tootie related but I'll leave you with this...

Agnes Smith: Katie, where's my cat?

Katie the Maid: I don't know...a little while ago, she got in my way and I kicked her down the cellar steps. I could hear her spine hitting on 

every step.

Agnes Smith: Oh, if you killed her, I'll kill you! I'll stab you to death in your sleep, then I'll tie your body to two wild horses until you're 

pulled apart.

Katie the Maid: Oh, won't that be terrible, now? There's your cat.